Chiqui’s Creative Grief Journey: 2019

The last 5 years have been a roller coaster first we decide to change our lives and move from South Florida to Seattle where I could continue my work in Organ Donation. I have an amazing opportunity to help families in their darkest hour. After 24hr shifts 7 days on and off. It took a toll not only physically but emotionally. We then decided after 2 years to move back to Florida to be closer to family and friends. I remained in Organ Donation for another 3 months. After 12 years it was finally time to leave an industry that though beautiful is very emotionally draining and filled with too many political issues. I am a donor family and am grateful I was able to change the lives of others. My time with families is something I will forever treasure.

While not working it was a challenge to figure out what to do with my life... I mean I was in my 40s with no direction. While working in organ donation I needed an outlet for my feelings. Which started as making beaded bracelets. Which over time grew to jewelry, painting, clay work, alcohol ink, resin work, card making to all other things in between. My creative side has completely grown and changed because over the last five years things have changed in more ways than I would like to admit.

Then in May 2017 things went from bad to worse, my cousin Rolin, my caretaker, my brother, my everything died of Acute Myeloid Leukemia. He was diagnosed in August of 2016 and was gone by May. I lost my parents, sister and all my grandparents within a 5 year span from when I was 19 to 23. Rolin was my rock and from possibly going home, he was transferred to the ICU where he died within a few hours he was only 44. The pain and grief I felt I thought was only possible once in this life. I was wrong, I had all the tools to help me move forward through the grief process. But until you live do you realize tools are great but where there was great love, there is great pain and it is difficult to let go.

On to 2018, can I skip this part, can I forget it happened?? No it was yet a new test On Superbowl weekend my husband felt ill and we took him to the hospital thinking Appendix... It was Stage 2B Testicular Cancer. Seeing the man you love change and suffer through Chemo and being completely unable to help ease the pain is one of the hardest things I have had to experience. As the year progressed he had surgery to remove lymph nodes. My health declined from stress and life, which is for another blog. There are so many things to blog about, actually there is much to be angry about. I have my moments where I feel this but I work hard and just being grateful.

My goal with this blog is to help others whether its through my grief journey and knowledge, my care taker knowledge or just my creativity. I will get better at blogging.

www.instagram.com/chiquiscreationsincbyjosie